I'll be straight forward and say that 2015 has been a challenging year. The thing about growing older and becoming your own person and establishing identity and finding your place in the world is that it's not easy, and demands that you step out of your comfort zone. This year has been filled with frustration, hurt, and loss. But I'm not going to say it was a bad year. It may have not been a good year in comparison to past years, but it definitely had its perks. As 2016 rolls around, I think it's important to look back at what the year was.
Early this year, I had to step away from a friendship that was hurting me too much to pursue. I chose to miss a trip out of state (which was huge for me because I don't travel much) to help with a week long project in which I felt inadequately used and disrespected. I had to watch one of my best friends deal with the loss of her brother.
Towards the middle of the year, I was offered a better job opportunity than the job I was working at the time and worked throughout the summer at my first almost full-time job. I felt lead to begin attending a new church further from my house where I only knew two people. I saw two of my favorite bands at a summer music festival.
Towards the later end of the year, I pulled through and finished a very tiring second-to-last semester of college. I was given opportunities to step up in leadership at my church. I was given the opportunity to travel out of state for a week.
So much more happened, but I'm not going to waste time by writing it all down. It was a year of change for me, a year of transition, a year of becoming a man. I'm not there yet. I know I have a lot of work to do, but I'm making progress. This year has pushed me beyond the bounds of comfort and has tested my character.
And I find it kind of funny, because I already know that what I've learned this year and how I've been pushed to grow is nothing compared to what 2016 will bring me. 2016 is going to be a year of growth. I will graduate college. I'll have a degree. I'll need to begin figuring out what to do with my life. Maybe I won't have an answer, but I'll be pretty close by the years end.
It is so amazing to see the amount of work God has poured into my life this year. It's been amazing to see the results of completely depending on him. I haven't done it perfectly, and I know I never will, but the times I relied on Him were the times I felt the most freedom and the most awe in what He does. 2016 will be a year of growth. Growth in God. Growth in relationships. Growth in manhood. Growth in identity. Growth in maturity.
I don't make resolutions. I simply make goals. This year, my goals are the same as last year:
a.) love Jesus
b.) love others
c.) make money
d.) spend money
e.) do things
f.) be awesome
g.) roll with it
h.) do at least one stupid and crazy thing that I may or may not regret
i.) mature
j.) never grow up
k.) try something new
l.) face a fear
m.) grow in wisdom
n.) make a good habit
o.) break a bad habit
p.) pray more
q.) meet someone new
r.) pass classes
s.) catch up on all the movies and books I missed
t.) empathize
u.) make memories
v.) prank often
w.) clean my room at least once
x.) never make a New Year's resolution because I probably won't keep it
y.) smell good
z.) push through
I don't know what 2016 is going to bring, but I know that whatever it brings will grow me into who I'm supposed to be. I'm not scared. I'm excited to see what happens. Sadness will come, hurt will come, pain will come, but so will comfort, so will growth, and I know that it's all part of God's plan. And I can't wait to be a part of it.
-Sam
